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Q001 Bringing It All Together - Connect Support & Empower Hour - LGBT Radio


 

PrideNET Radio - LGBT Talk Radio - cosPRIDE.org

Connect, Support &
Empower Hour

 

Bringing It All Together - Q001

A weekly, hosted, 1 hour, interactive, LGBT Talk Radio show produced by cosPRIDE, in Colorado Springs, Colorado.

 

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This Is Episode # Q001
Production Date:  Thursday, May 15, 2014
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What we are talking about on today's Connect, Support & Empower Hour

This show is a perfect place to start your weekend.  It's our weekly interactive, lively LGBT Talk Radio show focusing on today's LGBT community.

This week we are talking about:

Host Chat - Your Weekend

Connect - Busy Busy Weekend

MPACT Social Discussion, Third Friday Ladies Night, Entertainment Showcase 1 & 2, High Plains Spring Carnival, Pueblo Trans Support Group, UCPPE's "Turnabout Country" Show, Pink Party, Beer Bust and more.

Support - Change and How We Deal With It

Empower - 2nd Annual Give OUT Day

Din't Miss Out
When Companies Pretend to Be LGBT-Supportive 

Coming Next Week

I know someone that has mentioned suicide, what do I do now?

Find Us On Facebook  Follow Us On Twitter  Visit Our Website

See Show Outline Here

Show Hosts Charles Irwin, Marlene Milner and Jack Danielsen

During LIVE broadcasts Call In (646) 716-9729 or Tweet us @cosPRIDE or Flash Chat with us below. 

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For Show Information Contact Us via eMail at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or call us 719-471-4429

Today's Show Hosts

Charles Irwin

Marlene Milner Jack Danielsen
Charles Irwin
Executive Director
Colorado Springs Pride
Marlene Milner, MA
Transformational Expert,
Counselor To The Stars and
Creator of Beyond 12 Step.
Jack Danielsen
Our Very Own Ordained Minister & Paramedical Aesthetician
Owner Dimensions Spa

 

Today's Show Made Possible by a Donation From:

Gail Sutton Properties

Gail Sutton Properties consistently provides clients with the highest quality, most innovative and effective real estate service available. We deliver performance that exceeds expectations, uphold the highest standards of integrity and continuously strive for improvement to benefit our clients.
 
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MPACT Social Discussion Personality and Self-Perception - Thursday, May 15, 2014, 05:30pm - 07:00pm - More Details

Third Friday Ladies Night - Club Q - Friday, May 16, 2014, 06:00pm - 09:00pm - More Details

Entertainment Showcase Round 1 Part 1: Club Q - Friday, May 16, 2014, 09:30pm - More Details

High Plains Spring Carnival - Saturday, May 17, 2014, 10:00am - 04:00pm - More Details

Pueblo Trans Support Group - Saturday, May 17, 2014, 06:00pm - More Details

UCPPE's "Turnabout Country" Show - Saturday, May 17, 2014, 08:00pm - 11:00pm - More Details

Pink Party Club Q - Saturday, May 17, 2014, 09:00pm - More Details

Entertainment Showcase Round 1 Part 2: The Underground - Sunday, May 18, 2014, 03:00pm - More Details

Colorado Springs Pride Beer Bust! - Sunday, May 18, 2014, 04:00pm - 07:00pm - More Details

Support Those Who Support Us

(US means You, Me, Colorado Springs Pride and the LGBT Community)

 


Building Community

"We can never get a re-creation of community and heal our society without giving our citizens a sense of belonging."
-- Patch Adams


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How to Deal with Change

Changes are never far from our door, whether it's breaking up with an ex, relocating to another area for any reason, having a best friend move away, the death of a relative, the loss of a job or a demotion or something that once meant a great deal to you but that has not turned out the way you hoped it would. Change isn't easy but then again, it often provides an opportunity to grow in life and to test your mettle.

Be prepared. Life is full of unexpected surprises; don't let this be a lesson you refuse to learn. Death, loss, and strange situations will be a part of your life, no matter how much you may try to shelter or protect yourself from it. The major key to coping with change is to begin by accepting the reality of change and its inevitability.

Notice the signs. Many a time we refuse to see what is before us. The ailing health of a loved one, the restructuring of the place we work at, the pointed comments about things needing to be different. To avoid surprise or shock at the last minute, stay alert, listen and register the signs of oncoming change. Acknowledging impending change allows you to be forewarned and forearmed. Nothing can be helped by pretending things will be okay––they may be, but equally they may not be. Putting in place options to cope with change ahead of the actual change can help you to not only deal with it but potentially thrive too.

  • Any general talk of redundancies at a workplace should be heeded. Start polishing up your resume, start looking for new jobs and start sending in applications. Even if you absolutely love where you are, it is wise to seek other options. You can always turn down another job offer but it might even make your current position more sound if your employer finds out someone else sees you as worth poaching.
  • Read about an illness if a loved one has it. Know and understand the coming stages of the illness, including what to do if the situation worsens quickly. If the illness is terminal, learn what you can about making the most of the person's remaining time and how to make their last days comfortable and pain-free. There will be decisions you need to face that will be better for being informed while you can still think clearly.
  • If you need to move to another city, state or country, learn as much as you can about the new place before going. Use the internet to read about the new place and to find out about all the equivalent services you're likely to need to use when you get there. Leaving a loved residence and community is never easy but you don't need to make the change harder on yourself than it need be.

Ask yourself a very useful question. Namely: "What's the worse that could happen?" This question will force you to look a the worst case scenario then work back from there. It's forcing yourself to look at what could go wrong and finding strategies to do your best to prevent this.

  • For example, say you have been told that you're going to be moved to a different department at work. You think that this means you will fail in the new department because it's not an area you know much about. What's the worst that could happen? You could lose your job. Now work back from that: To improve your chances, what can you do? Ask for retraining, ask for books that you can study to come up to scratch, return to night school briefly to relearn that accounting you skipped over during college, etc. You might even feel it's okay to express your concerns to a trusted supervisor. Whatever solutions you come up with, you've faced the worst possibility and now you have ideas to stop that from becoming an eventuality.
  • Another example could be the melding of two families because your mom has married someone new. You might think she won't have time for you anymore or that she'll disinherit you. Ask yourself: "What's the worst that could happen?" Maybe it's that she and her new husband will jetset around the world most of the year or that the new family will inherit things you were meant to get. Now work back from that and ask yourself what you can do. You might raise your worry with her initially and ask that the two of you make arrangements to spend time together at regular intervals or that she clarify the will with you.

Acknowledge that there's only one thing you can control in life, and that's yourself. Change may turn your world upside down but it's how you react that makes the difference between coping or falling apart. Blaming others is a fairly standard response but whether or not it's a fair assessment, blame won't solve anything and it risks turning you bitter and leaving you feeling helpless.

  • Accept that you cannot change others. Nor do you need to take their actions as a reflection of who you are or of your personal worth. That's a slippery slope of giving in to fate and disempowering yourself.
  • Seek to be empowered instead. Empowerment is essential for coping with change in a dignified way. The reality of the change won't go away but by understanding that you can––and will––find a way through relying on both your own resourcefulness and the help of those who care about you, you will be able to roll with the change without breaking.

Be discerning about advice from others. Some people have a switch that gets flicked on when they see someone else's life falling apart. Whether it's rescuer mode or interferer mode is neither here nor there, if the advice is unwarranted and unwelcome, then you do not need to add it to the weight already sitting on your shoulders. So what if Mrs White only grieved a week for her husband and so what if Mr Black found a new job only two weeks after being made redundant. What these people may be failing to tell you is that they're packed up to the eyeballs with Vicodin, scoffing down half a dozen cupcakes a day or leaning on their already overwrought brother-in-law's business to give them something new to do. People can be absolutely wonderful when the chips are down but they can also be really manipulative and thoughtless too, and you need to be discerning about peoples own motivations for offering you advice.

  • If the advice feels wrong, pushy or manipulative, then listen to your inner voice. Thank them for their help and ideas but make no commitments. Just let them know that "you're working on it" or that "you're already getting help thanks". There is no need to go into copious details.
  • Be aware that a lot of people actually just don't want to know. Hearing about change and/or loss from others brings fear to some people and causes them to don their armor in the hope you won't infect them. Let them be––life often has a funny way of bringing about what they fear most. Look for the people who are supportive, caring and willing to listen. Even if you have to pay a counselor, get someone's non-judgmental ear on side so that you can spill it all out now and then.

Accept that the change has knocked you flat. Acknowledging that you don't feel like coping is the first step to picking yourself and getting up again. There is a lot of emotional pain involved in many types of change, from job loss through to death of a loved one. Each emotional upheaval is very personal and cannot be measured by any other person, whoever they be. Give yourself the time to grieve the change as well as finding ways up and out of it. If you don't acknowledge the pain that accompanies change, there is a risk you'll push it deep down and pretend you're coping. In turn, this emotional time-bomb risks exploding later on, when you're least able to cope.

  • For example, perhaps you've lost a job and suddenly there is no regular income coming in, no daily routine to get up for and no activity left beyond your four walls. This type of change isn't just about the loss of income––it's loss of place in a society that values what you do, it's potentially the loss of the ability to keep the shelter over your head and it's loss of dignity. By acknowledging your fears and pain outright, you can begin to sift through the feelings while coping with the practical realities that need facing now. Be patient with your feelings but aim to stay on top of the practical matters, like informing the bank you need more time, drawing up a strict budget, growing your own food, and so forth. This approach is about being gentle on yourself and can prevent you from avoiding facing the practical issues because the emotional ones feel so overwhelming that you'd prefer to shut yourself down totally.

Expect new patterns of living to take time. Change is a shock because it destabilizes the life you've made for yourself to this point. If you had goals and they had been achieved, then change can feel like a slap in the face to your goals. All habits and routines are up for questioning when change interferes, so going slowly and easing yourself into the new is an essential strategy for coping.

  • Give yourself time to recoup. For example, if you're grieving after a death, be it a person or a pet, acknowledge that how you grieve and how long you grieve for are decisions only you can make. Nobody else can rush you, no matter what they insist. Time is very subjective and only you can say whether or not your mourning is done with. Indeed, there is much evidence that those who do not grieve end up experiencing breakdowns and the inability to cope at unexpected times.
  • Recouping is not about giving up to hopelessness. As suggested earlier, cherish your feelings but continue to deal with life's practical day-to-day decisions both as a way of reintroducing routine to your life and to ensuring that your daily life is not harmed by indecision and complacency.

Cherish the memories but nourish the future too. With grief for death, there will always be a piece of your heart missing but if you accept this and you're willing to carry the memories as lively as can be for the rest of your life, this will help you reach some acceptance of what has happened. If it is a job loss or some other personal loss that is not death, you still need mourning time to assuage your sadness and grief over a loss of something that once filled a large part of your life. Perhaps a small ending ceremony of some sort will help to give you a sense of closure and allow you to move forward; it may help you to read How to Get Closure.

Adopt a purposeful approach to recovery from change. Restating, refinding or finally finding your purpose in life can be a very powerful way of putting change into context in your life. Initially you may feel resistance to the idea that your sense of purpose in life is either missing or skewed, but change can actually awaken the quest for re-examining what truly matters to you. Allow this to be an opportunity to renew or reroute your purpose in life.

  • Have you been true to yourself in life? Sometimes you might discover that you've wandered off the path of what matters to you and that you've been pursuing someone else's dreams or expectations.
  • Has this change shown you that perhaps there are cracks in the dreams and goals you held for yourself? You might have achieved all that you set out to get, only to discover that this has been a fairly hollow victory. Can the change teach you how to get back to a pathway that aligns with what fulfills you?
  • Do you still have self-belief? Losing a loved one, a job or a home can shake this aspect of yourself. Remembering that what others say or do does not define who you are, it's time to restore your self-belief by remembering what counts in your life and deciding practical ways to go about restoring that.
  • Are you reacting to change or are you shaping the change? A purposeful approach to change and life in general, is to take the curveballs and toss them right back, all the while fielding the other balls coming your way. Change won't go away but make this the time that you roar back at change and set a precedent for how you'll deal resourcefully with future change in your life.
  • Nobody is asking you to dismantle who you are. If anything, change is the very time during which your true character rises to the top. But is that character as polished and healthy as you'd wish it to be? Examine yourself, be truthful and set about improving anything you think you could be better.

See change as opportunity. Change is an opportunity to re-examine the life you've been leading to see whether you've been making the right choices, paying too much (time, money, effort) for leading a lifestyle that isn't bringing you happiness or being aimless rather than making choices that make you the leader of your life. Although devastating, each of the following types of change can bring a silver lining:

  • Grief can lead to greater understanding of the cycle of life from birth to death. It can bring you a renewed sense of purposeful vigor and a decreased fear of your own death. It can shock you out of complacency about putting up with second best. And it can help you renew your investment of time spent with family and friends.
  • Job loss can lead to meeting people you never knew existed and finding possible new things to do with your skills and creativity. It can also help you to see how little you enjoyed your last job but clung to it just for the sake of surviving. The gain in time from job loss can sometimes be a total surprise, when you find you can save money by doing many things yourself from scratch precisely because you do have the time. It can also be a time of changing your occupation, perhaps with a small skills upgrade, to work in something you really do love doing.
  • Moving to a new place can lead to meeting new people and opening up amazing new opportunities. It can broaden your understanding of people and your place in the world and it can bring many new activities into your life that you never considered before.

Leave complaining and blaming behind you. When a change thrusts you into constant complaining and blaming, it can be understandable for a short period of time. Friends and family will rally at the beginning of a misfortune. However, as time progresses, constant complaining turns you into your family's and friend's misfortune and does absolutely nothing to improve your state of affairs. Rather, you may alienate the very people who would be happy to support you through your hardships if you turn into a grouch and someone who feels permanently victimized and scolds the entire world for your troubles.

  • A little ranting is fine at the beginning; a sourpuss for life is someone who becomes increasingly isolated. Do not allow this to happen to you.
  • Seek to be an optimist who has faced the worst possible scenario but still knows that life will go on, regardless. Do what you can to make things better and remember that action is the best antidote against falling into a heap.

Let go of what has happened and move on. You cannot remain rooted in the current or a past situation. It may feel comfortable and returning to a habit is always the simpler path of least resistance. Yet, change requires change from you as well and you will need to learn to resist turning back to the past and trying to recreate what once was. Forge on into the future and stand proud. Use what you have learned but don't let it use you.

Support Those Who Support Us

(US means You, Me, Colorado Springs Pride and the LGBT Community)


Building Community

 The old emphasis upon superficial differences that separate peoples must give way to education for citizenship in the human community.
-- Norman Cousins


This Show Made Possible by a Donation From:

GourMAID Guys

Full service residential and commercial cleaning. 100% all natural cleaning agents. Low price per job, 100% guaranteed.
 
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Empower

Welcome to Give Out Day 2014

On May 15th, we invite you to be part of history and participate in the 2nd annual national Give OUT Day! Give OUT Day is a national initiative that will engage hundreds of organizations and mobilize thousands of people on a single day across the country to give in support of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer community.

It’s a chance for LGBTQ groups large and small, to work across the wide range of issues and activities that matter to the LGBTQ community from sports to policy change, families to the arts.

It’s a chance for members of the LGBTQ community and our many allies to stand up and show support on one day. It’s a chance to make history. We hope you’ll join us!

How it Works

On May 15th from 12am-11:59 pm EST, the LGBTQ community and allies across the country will come together for 24 hours of generosity. In addition, organizations receiving donations from the greatest number of unique donors will be in the running for additional cash prizes.

Here is Our Story - An Update On Bob

A True Story from our Executive Director

This is what we do... Connect, Support & Empower

Support Those Who Support Us

(US means You, Me, Colorado Springs Pride and the LGBT Community)


Building Community

What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?
-- George Eliot


This Show Made Possible by a Donation From:

Neal the Handyman Ltd

My specialty is your old house. Plumbing, electrical, whatever you need

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State: CO
Postcode: 80903
Country: United States
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When Companies Pretend to Be LGBT-Supportive 

It’s called “pinkwashing” — masking unsavory policies with a glittery, LGBT-friendly facade. Enjoy your workouts at über-gay-friendly Gold’s Gym? You wouldn’t know that it’s owned by a Texas billionaire who donates millions to archconservative causes. Fan of the LGBT-friendly Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival? Guess what: it’s produced by Anschutz Entertainment Group, owned by another billionaire who’s funded antigay ballot measures.

But you’d be hard-pressed to find a more literal case of pinkwashing than the “Pink Palace,” beloved by Hollywood’s elite for a century: the Beverly Hills Hotel. It’s owned and managed by the Dorchester Collection, which itself is owned by the newest archvillain on the international LGBT stage, the sultan of Brunei. Brunei is a tiny nation that shares the island of Borneo with Malaysia and Indonesia. It’s famous for its oil, its shiny new mosques, and as of this month, a new sharia-based penal code that mandates death by stoning for LGBT people and public beatings of women for exercising their reproductive rights.

Now, nobody is accusing the Beverly Hills Hotel (or its sister property, the Hotel Bel-Air) of being anti-LGBT. But when asked on national television what he thought about his boss’s policies, Dorchester CEO Christopher Cowdray replied that he “had no opinion whatsoever” on whether LGBT people should be stoned to death. He did claim, however, to be concerned about employees, warning that they would only be harmed by a boycott.

Support Those Who Support Us

(US means You, Me, Colorado Springs Pride and the LGBT Community)

LGBT Community Calendar

Building Community

The first duty of a human being is to assume the right functional relationship to society -- more briefly, to find your real job, and do it.
-- Charlotte Perkins Gilman


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Website: Prodigy Salon

I know someone that has mentioned suicide, what do I do now?

What can you do?

Be available to listen and talk. Show and say that you care about them.

Don’t be afraid to ask the person directly about suicide. You will not be putting thoughts into their head or causing them to want to commit suicide — confronting it head on is the best thing you can do. Don't appear shocked or scared if they tell you and certainly do not argue about the morality of suicide. Ask the question directly “Are you thinking about hurting yourself?”

Do not guilt them into stopping, show compassion.

If you decide that the situation is serious enough and that the person has a plan and the means to execute the plan, do not leave the person alone unless you feel that you are physically threatened.

Call the suicide hotline 1-800-273-TALK(8255), nearest hospital emergency room, or 911.

Talk about what you can do together to keep them safe. Do not agree to keep it a secret; you should not be the only one supporting this person. You may need help from someone else to persuade them to get help.

Encourage the person to seek professional guidance. If they refuse help, contact someone in authority immediately — an angry friend is better than a dead one. Maintain contact with the person until help is secured.

Thoughts of suicide can return, so ask them to promise to reach out and tell someone. Asking them to promise makes it more likely they will tell someone and let them know they are not alone.

 

 

Support Those Who Support Us

(US means You, Me, Colorado Springs Pride and the LGBT Community)

Just Ask

Colorado Springs Pride is a 501c3 Not For Profit Organizations.  Please consider making a tax deductible donation to help cosPRIDE continue our work to connect, support and empower LGBT individuals and community.

Here Is Your Chance To Change The Word

Our staff, volunteers and Board of Directors interact with an average of 700 people every month.  A donation from you will help us connect, support and empower all those people and the LGBT community.

Donations made us, Colorado Springs Pride, a 501c3 Not-For-Profit organization, are tax deductible.  Please Take The Time, Today, or Even Right Now and Make a Donation.  Thank You


About Our Hosts

Marlene Milner is a Transpersonal Emotional Healing Coach who has worked with and learned from leaders in the recovery field including, John Bradshaw, Pia Mellody, Claudia Black and Patrick Carnes.  Prior to developing her practice, Marlene was an addiction counselor at a top level inpatient treatment facility in Arizona, where she worked with celebrity clients from around the world.  

After assisting a variety of people make life -changing recoveries, Marlene discovered that her clients' biggest challenge, in addition to sobriety, was to heal the emotional self and "get comfortable in their own skin".  It's from this knowledge that Marlene created "BEYOND 12 STEP".

Jack Danielsen is the owner of Dimensions Spa in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Jack grew up in Tulsa, OK and was raised by the child of a Christian minister. Jack was ordained in the non-denominational church and worked in prison ministry and also performed marriages as a part of the marriage process Jack was required to perform pre-marital counselling using the "Saving your marriage before it starts series. Jack has been in a 5 year relationship with his lifepartner. Jack also serves on the Colorado Springs Pride board of directors and has taken a proactive role in the battle for equal rights.

Charles Irwin

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